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Sunshine healing

It’s not just your heart that needs healing when a relationship breaks down – your body takes a battering too. However, a holistic holiday makes the perfect love hangover cure, and Skyros proved to be just that.

Some people emerge from a relationship break-up feeling liberated and full of the joys of being single. But after the end of my five-year relationship, I just felt fat from too much comfort food, guilty about smoking too many cigarettes and bordering on the alcoholic from too many evenings seeking answers in the pub.

The solution, I decided, was to get away from it all and, after a search on the web, I chose a holiday on the small Greek island of Skyros as my destination. Described as a holistic break – meaning it’s designed to heal mind and body – the Skyros Centre offered ‘a unique combination of inspiring courses within a friendly community setting’. I’d never travelled abroad alone before, but this sounded good, so in a brave moment I bit the bullet and booked it.

The journey to Skyros involved flying to Athens where I stayed overnight before embarking on a further seven hour journey by coach and two ferries. Although it sounded daunting, it was surprisingly painless. Every step of the way, there are friendly co-ordinators on hand to answer questions and, en route, over lunch, I begin to get to know some of the people I’d be spending the next two weeks with. Most of them were on their own and it was good to know we were all in the same boat.

The Skyros Centre has room for 15 to 45 guests and accommodation is around the Centre itself in purpose-built apartments or further out with local landlords in traditional houses. I don’t know which I was in until I got there and, as I chose not to pay the single supplement, I was sharing with a complete stranger.

It turned out my apartment was in a block near the Centre. On two levels, it had one bed upstairs on the mezzanine and one downstairs, plus a huge terrace at the back with a fantastic view down into the valley.

So there I was, in a beautiful location, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. Just me, not one half of a couple or part of a family. I’d cut myself loose and I had no idea what to expect.

Fortunately, I hit it off right away with Sue, my roommate and the community spirit soon started to kick in. After breakfast the next morning, we had demos, a group meeting during which the day’s events are outlined – plus we got our chance to comment on our experiences and air any worries or problems. We were also asked to volunteer for chores - washing dishes, watering the garden, peeling potatoes… This really wasn’t as bad as it sounded. In fact, it was more of a gesture than hard work and turned out to be fun as well as a good opportunity to get to know everyone.

In the first week, I joined a creative writing group, which was two hours every morning for four days. Surprisingly, this wasn’t at all scary. The supportive environment helped loosen my inhibitions, making it easier to try something new, muck it up, and try again – whether it was film making, woodcarving, dancing or singing. You could just enjoy what you were doing without having to be good at it – in fact, the worse you were, the more encouragement you got! It was the perfect post break-up confidence boost.

Holidays are booked in two-week slots, so I began and ended my stay with the same group of people, mostly women. In this short time, I started to make the sort of friends I really wanted to keep. One night, four of us stayed up to watch the sun rise, chatting and giggling until dawn.

Shared evening meals in the local tavernas were lively and full of traditional fare – Greek salads, fresh fish, stews and hummus. And the village was a fascinating place to explore. Along the narrow, winding streets, tiny shops full of exquisite jewellery opened their doors late into the evening. Drinking cocktails under the stars, dancing in beach front tavernas, going for midnight skinny dips and soaking up the sunshine on boat trips round the island, I felt the stresses of the past few months sliding away like an old grey skin.

I found a new pace to life, too. In a brief moment before I left England, I’d sadly contemplated the lack of someone special to rub suntan lotion on my back, but on Skyros I didn’t really think about it. There was a buzz in the air, a powerful group dynamic. The people I was sharing my holiday with wanted to try out new activities, push themselves, be creative, talk, laugh and listen – and my back didn’t get sunburnt, so I reckoned I was doing OK.

Skyros provided a space that allowed me to focus on myself again. Before breakfast, yoga and the ancient oriental art of qu gong eased me gently into the day and afternoons were spent in a shady corner of the beach, drifting off to sleep with the sound of the sea fading into silence as the hours glided past.

For some, the sunshine, location and stimulation of new activities and friends were all they needed. Others were looking for more. Some courses were designed to work on an emotional or spiritual level, giving participants a forum to discuss and work through problems. These sessions could easily be bypassed if they weren’t your bag, but for some they were Skyros’ most valuable feature.

In the second week, I signed up for a course called ‘Choose Life At Whatever Risk’ run by renowned psychologist Ari Badaines. It turned out to be one of the most exhausting, absorbing, emotional situations I’d ever been in. It was a stunningly honest and open environment and there were lots of tears, but as those around me revealed their sadness, hopes and fears, I learnt almost as much about myself as I did about them.

This may not sound much like a holiday, but from time to time, I saw people who were part of Ari’s group and noticed something different about them: they looked younger, their faces were more open and relaxed; they glowed.

So when my 14 days were at an end, where was I? Formerly a bedraggled individual in a pear-shaped world, I felt inspired and optimistic about the future and what I can make of it. I’d relaxed, had fun and learnt new skills. I’d also been able to let my guard down and focus on myself without feeling guilty or embarrassed.

But best of all - and what I could take home with me - was the simple realisation that I had it in me to feel good about myself. I’d spent some quality time with me and actually enjoyed it.

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